Does forever still apply nowadays?
Call me conservative, narrow minded or what-not, but I really don’t understand how someone can simply throw away years (and sometimes even decades) of love and commitment for something shallow.
Forgive me if I may sound judgmental but I just need to let this out. I am mad. No, my boyfriend did not cheat on me. In fact, we are still very much together. It’s just that I have a good friend who told me today that she and her husband are already separated.
So why am I affected?
First, I don’t have a lot of friends but the ones I have, well, I love them to bits. I am fiercely protective of them, I don’t want to see them get hurt or be treated unfairly. Naturally, it hurts me to see them hurting.
Second, I have always thought that she and her husband have an ideal relationship. I know for a fact that he loves her and he would always do everything just to make her happy. He used to have this neverending patience with her, despite her shortcomings brought about by her immaturity at the time (that was years ago).
Today when she confessed to me that they are no longer together because he cheated on her and hurt her physically, not only did my heart break for her but I was also shaken. Disillusioned. Think about it: You give yourself to someone who you thought you knew and then bam! He wakes up and tells you he doesn’t love you anymore and that you should just move on. It feels as if everything you have known to be true aren’t true after all.
She was hurting for seven months and didn’t even tell a single soul. She admitted to me that she even thought of committing suicide. Her husband was cheating on her right under her nose and she chose to stay for months with the hope that he would come to his senses but he didn’t.
Tell me how. How can you say that you love a woman you’ve never even met? How can you simply throw away years of memories for someone you barely know? How can you promise in front of God that you will stay with your spouse until death only to abandon her unceremoniously?
This incident brings out some skeletons from my closet (for a moment, at least). These skeletons are mostly my insecurities, doubts and fears. I mean, how can you simply hand over your heart (figuratively) to someone? By giving that person your heart and your trust, you are giving him or her the power to crush you. How sure are you that the person you love now will never change as years go by? So many questions and I only have one answer: faith.
Loving someone is taking a leap of faith. You have to trust blindly and hope for the best.
If you’re bored then think of doing something new and exciting without being unfaithful. If you feel that there’s something missing in your relationship, find out what it is and then fix it. Do not ignore it or run away from it. Most importantly, never seek it from another person. You may think that this person can give you what you lack but in reality, you are just taking a temporary solution to your problems and instead of solving it, you are simply digging a deeper hole for yourself. Remember, the grass is greener where you water it.
Before I end this post, I will share my favorite quote about love (and I think I’ve shared this countless times before):
Maybe thats what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.