Adulthood & What Comes With It

So, we’ve come to this.

A friend of mine is getting married tomorrow. I met her around four years ago, and until now I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s going to embark on a new journey soon— married life and parenthood!

On Tuesday, another friend of mine will also tie the knot. I’ve known her for more than ten years now, and I must say, even though we’ve pretty much been informed more than half a year ago that she’s getting married, it still feels surreal.

Both of them are older than I am, with the former turning 27 on Tuesday and the latter turning 26 this June. Still, are we really in that stage?

I am in denial, guys. Seriously.

Not because I’m not happy for my friends. I am ecstatic that their dreams are already happening. I know for a fact that this has been a part of what they have always wanted, both of them. I wish them all the happiness in the world.

I guess I’m just scared. Freaked out. I mean, for myself. Not that I don’t want to get hitched or anything. It’s actually the opposite. I want to get married, have kids…and I am afraid that I will never get to experience these things. What if my boyfriend will never be ready? What if both of us will never be stable enough to start our own family? What if…I’m not capable of bearing children?

Why do I feel that things will not turn out the way I want them to?

I know I’m overthinking, and let’s be honest: We’ll never know what the future will bring, so there’s still 50-50 chance that my dreams will (or will not) happen.

I’m counting on that positive 50%.

(I just hate being an adult sometimes.)

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