You either have the feeling, or you don’t.

“Min and Ed’s story of heartbreak may remind you of your own,” says the book.

I just posted an entry like a couple of hours ago announcing that I’m currently reading Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler, and here I am posting another entry yet again, because I already finished the book.

It’s true, it really does connect to me in some strange way.

“The thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.”

“Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.”

But this isn’t about me. This is about the book.

As I’ve said in my earlier post, the story is interesting.

There’s this girl, Min, who’s simple and smart and weird in her own way. Then there’s this boy, Ed, who’s popular and a star player in the school’s basketball team— you know, a jock— typical, right? What’s different in the story though is that it’s in some form of a letter, written by Min, a break-up letter of sorts. And somehow I can feel her pain in every How could you? and Take it all back. I can feel her anger when she wrote, “And the truth is that I goddamn loved you so much.”

The thing is, all throughout the book, I couldn’t think of anything that would break them up. Sure, they belong in two separate worlds. They have different tastes, they weren’t in the same wavelength, so to speak. But it seemed like Ed really did love her, he did everything for her. He wasn’t the shallow type of guy, not the guy everyone else thought he was. Deep inside he was actually nice, even intelligent.

But then, that’s the problem with heartbreak, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

You would always think, no he wouldn’t do that to me. No, he’s not that kind of person. He loves me. But truth be told, sometimes, it’s just all in your head. A product of love, trust, faith. Or whatever you call it. It’s as simple as that.

“There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he’s the one, of course it was a dream, of course she’s dead, of course, it’s hidden right there, of course it’s the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.”

My favorite part was/is this:

I stepped back and you stayed there, you stood your ground in the blaring battlefield, and you began to count on your fingers, counting the number of times you were saying what you were saying, both hands twice and then almost again. It was the only thing you could say, the perfect thing is what you said.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

….. “Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them.
“And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you.”

I honestly didn’t know what happened next, because the setting was just there, in Al’s truck while Min was writing the break-up letter.

All I know is that it didn’t work out between Ed and Annette after all. I wasn’t sure if Min eventually dated Al, but since they are best friends, anything could happen, right?

After I finished reading, I got more questions than answers. Did Ed and Min get back together? I want them to reconcile, but no, not really. You can’t really trust someone who has a history of cheating. Not at all. For me, that is.

I do believe, however, that for every heartbreak that you encounter, someone will come into your life and bring you happiness, a thousand times more.


One thought on “You either have the feeling, or you don’t.

  1. reivageen says:

    Hello.. I haven’t read the book but the way you’ve written your piece makes me reflect that yeah, I might have read it through your own thoughts. Xoxo, Girl from the Philippines.

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