Good Friday

So today is Good Friday. As a Catholic, this is the time I should be contemplating, repenting, or whatever. Well, I’ve been actually doing some reflection since morning. What do I want to do with my life? Where do I go from here? 

Some people may think I’m overreacting or over thinking, because I’m only twenty-three and I still have a lot of time to do what I want to do. But for me, it’s just not the case. I may be young but it feels like I’ve been working all my life. All my life meaning, after college. (Haha.) Perhaps this is it, the disadvantage of having a fast-paced life.

I started schooling when I was three. I graduated high school at the age of sixteen. I went to a university that has a trimestral system, so there you go, I graduated college at the age of nineteen. One month after my actual graduation, I started working at an international bank. Three years and eight months later, I’m still here. Most of my batch mates just recently started working, and here I am feeling so…old, and worn out. I’m only twenty-three and I’m already having an imaginary mid-life crisis.

This isn’t where I belong. I belong out there.

Now I’m looking for scholarship programs abroad, but I want to earn money too. I’ve experienced three years of being paid fairly well, so finding another occupation that would measure up to my present employment can be quite hard. Also, I won’t be able to get retirement pay if I resign before July next year. We only receive retirement pay if we reach five years of service. That’s pretty long, if you ask me.

If only I could wait for another year. But my job, gah. It’s very exhausting. Not the job itself, but the pressure and expectations my superiors have been unjustly imposing upon us. And honestly, I feel like my efforts are not appreciated enough. Everything’s just not enough.

Oh crap. Decisions, decisions.

P.S. Enjoy Good Friday and the silence it brings.


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